Pregnancy Diaries
Preconception - Where do babies come from?

For many years when I did not get pregnant I just assumed fate thought we were simply not worthy or deserving to be parents. Or that there was a list in heaven of who gets babies. By some error our names were skipped over and no one checked back to make sure that the right person from the list got a baby. God would read a name off the list, then throw a lightening bolt down to earth towards this person and they would get a baby. Only the list was rather non-specific and God's aim was bad. So if the list said 'that American woman living on the Bolwerk(our street in Holland)' then the American woman down the street got pregnant. This happened a lot. One of my friends conceived while we were on vacation together. Their room was directly below ours so the lightening bolt intended for us must have missed me by one floor. The five previous treasurer's before me for the American Women's Club in Amsterdam got pregnant. I took on the job and didn't.

My GP referred me to an infertility specialist just starting his practice with no waiting list. The GP said that that waiting list at other places was 2 years. After all the humiliating and degrading tests he couldn't find anything wrong with me or my husband. I didn't know it then but when they don't know what else to do and you're getting up there in years they put you on a drug called Clomid. I asked if there was a risk of multiple births. He said yes, twins. I did the math, my paternal grandmother is a twin and my mother has sisters who are twins. I didn't want to have a litter and so I refused. He'd never done a hormonal investigation on me because there were no indications of problems but I didn't want to start 'extraordinary measures' until we'd exhausted all the other possibilities. So I blackmailed the infertility specialist. I said if he would do a hormonal study I would consider taking the Clomid. Remember this guy has statistics to support. If he fails with me, it will go on his records. Well he muttered as he wrote out the referral letter to the endocrinologist that this was a waste of time and money and then gave me the letter.

The study took several months. And they did find something minor wrong with my thyroid. This was corrected with medication. After a few months of monitoring it was determined that I was taking the correct dose of medication. By then the infertility specialist had kicked me out of the program because I still wouldn't agree to the Clomid. Seems he'd accumulated a waiting list himself and wanted to replace me with someone else who he had better odds with.

My husband supported me in all this. He didn't much like me being cut up, poked and prodded. And he agreed with me wholeheartedly about not taking the fertility drugs. I am not a very nice person to begin with and when I am on hormones I become downright unpleasant. No wonder he didn't want to put up with that. He said, 'a baby would be wonderful. But we have a very nice life without children already. So let's just enjoy ourselves and our freedom.' So we did. Sure I wanted a baby. My husband's baby. But I also have always wanted to be tall enough to be a supermodel. It just wasn't going to happen.

Some female problems a few years later made me examine my desire to still have children. I wasn't ready to give up yet. I wanted to keep all my parts just in case a miracle (or lighting bolt) happened. So I went on some hormones for a few months. It was awful. The drugs were supposed to fool my body into thinking that it was pregnant. So I gained weight and became truly miserable. My mood could only be described as fit for an abattoir. I went off the drugs and started looking for more lifestyle/herbal ways to deal with my illness.

About three years later, we were living in Thailand by now, what started as a simple UTI ended up with me in the hospital with a mysterious cyst pressing against my spine. It was very scary. Thai Doctors are revered and not used to explaining what they are doing. Language is a problem but it was pretty clear that the lady Doctor surgeon wanted that cyst out! Taking things on trust isn't my style at all. I was dreading surgery - were they just trying to extract money out of me? Was it really necessary to cut? There was really no way to know but I was in pain and the surgeon was anxious to remove the cyst. At this point I didn't know if I would end up with a complete hysterectomy or what. Since my 40th birthday wasn't far away I thought it was time to completely give up on babies. So I thought, 'Okay. Take it all out. It never worked right anyway.''

I went under thinking the Thai word for good health sabai and woke up 45 minutes later repeating sabai sabai. It must have worked because I was allowed to go home then. They'd only had to remove the cyst which also happened to be my left ovary. Enough of my baby making factory was intact to still work. But we really did not hold out much hope. After 11 years of no baby what difference would a little surgery make?

I had a sneaking suspicious that a little surgery could make a world of difference but I didn't dare to hope. I didn't dare tell my husband either. Even though now I think I should have told him that a baby was a possibility. I lived in a kind of elated fear that I would/would not get pregnant. But I had no confidence that I could ever get pregnant. For heaven's sake, I would be 40 shortly.

Well, about this time I had started a little business to amuse myself. I only wanted to work 1 week per month. It was ridiculously easy and I felt so guilty for all the trailing spouses who were unable to find meaningful work. My husband was right we DID have a nice life. He'd travel. I'd travel. We'd meet for a long weekend at a Thai island. Life was good. It was just too easy. Work started to pour in fast and I realized it would be difficult to keep to just part time.

After only my second three day contract I came home and had to sleep for another three days. My period was a little bit late for the first time in years. I put it down to the operation. I honest to god did not put 2 + 2 together at this point. How clueless can you be? I thought, maybe having only one ovary makes you skip every other month? Maybe it was early menopause - I'd be 40 in about 2 months. The Doctor hadn't explained anything. She made me feel like I was challenging her authority by asking any questions. So I certainly wasn't going back to her about this.

It was three weeks before I could get a pregnancy test at another hospital with a different Doctor. Even then I told myself this was just a precaution before I got my immunity booster shots. Well, surprise! The test results were positive. My lightening bolt had finally struck ME! This sure took the sting out of turning 40.

FIRST TRIMESTER - Blissful Stupor
I immediately turned into someone who eats to live instead of lives to eat.

I felt like the first woman in the world to ever get pregnant. Wasn't I clever? Finally doing what a lot of teenagers can do effortlessly, unintentionally? I told myself that I lived in a city of 10 million people and realized, 'Everybody was a baby!' Ten million babies! How can the world contain so much joy?

Back to my 'who gets a baby list fantasy'. I embellished this now. My father died about a year before I got pregnant. So the first thing he must have done is inquire about his baby's baby. Maybe they checked back on the list 11 years ago and found their BIG mistake. After they apologized, things were put to right and I was given the consolation prize of no morning sickness. Or Daddy looked up my baby who had just been waiting around and said, 'What gives? You'd better get down there soon.' Thank you, Daddy, you must have given quite a persuasive argument to finally make baby come.

With all my problems I had no confidence that I could stay pregnant. So I tried to cherish each day. And I read. And read. The books said the 2nd trimester is better, but how could mine be? I was already feeling terrific, but not really pregnant. I let my business crash and burn. Which was an extremely difficult decision. I know how lucky I had been to find anything, much less the wonderful situation I had simply fallen into. But the miscarriage statistics were so scary for the first trimester that I didn't want to risk anything. This lead to a rather nasty incident for me at the airport. While the plane was boarding (I'd managed to land a 3rd contract) I started to hyperventilate and decided not to go. I asked the baby (I kept up a continuous dialog with him in my head) what he wanted to do and got a very clear, 'I want to go home!' Probably wishful thinking but I already knew who was boss.

I’d already fainted once, probably from heat, excitement and low blood-sugar. So my maternity leave began very early. Can I go in the Guiness Book of World records for the earliest maternity leave?

Second Trimester - Good News
I felt the baby move for the first time during an airport layover on our way to home leave. There was a definite 'log roll' in there. I shifted to give him more room and couldn't feel him anymore.

I couldn't wait to go maternity clothes shopping in the states. But after just a few minutes at the mall I began feeling unwell. Oh no! I knew it wasn't the baby just gas but boy! was I in pain. So much so that I finally laid down in front of B Dalton's. The cool tile floor felt so good! A nice lady stopped and asked how I was. Then she started ordering everybody around, 'Call 911! Get me some ice!' She said. Well, turned out she was an ex-EMT with six kids. When mall security heard that I was 3 months pregnant they wouldn't take no for an answer and insisted that I go to the hospital. My husband came out of the bookstore and stopped to see what the commotion was. Poor guy, he must of thought, 'Not again!' He's gotten used to my fainting and takes it in stride. I knew all I really needed was a toilet but they were all one floor up so instead I got to ride in an ambulance with the siren wailing.. Maybe that is fun for a six year old but I felt ridiculous. A wonderful young lady gynecologist listened to the baby's heartbeat, all was fine with him other than his mother embarrassing him. And once the enteritis (an $800 word for indigestion) ran its course I felt good enough to leave.

After that, Christmas in Skokie was lovely as usual. We wasted much time during Christmas eve dinner making the family guess the names we had chosen. By the way, boy children really have a knack at this. We had decided to tell everyone a fake name because we didn't want to know if they had a negative opinion of the real names we had picked out. Our fake name was 'Elvis Napolean'.

Because of my age we'd scheduled an amniocentesis for when I would be in the States. The procedure was nothing. The interview with the genetic counselor, who thought we were SO interesting (not!) was a bit uncomfortable with the full bladder I needed for the ultrasound. She just went on and on. We'd been warned to bring a VCR tape and it had been put in the machine before the technician started but the machine didn't work. So after the needle part the technician performed yet another interminable ultrasound after we'd made sure the VCR was on.

I didn't realize that an amniocentesis was just taking a urine sample from the baby. From that they can extract and culture cells. The baby's chromosomes can then be counted and analyzed from this culture.

Part of the preliminary ultrasound is to measure parts of the baby. When the technician was measuring the femur it became very obvious that we were having a boy. My husband and I were stunned. We didn't care what we got but we really didn't expect this. So our baby would be 'Andreas'.

I felt very vulnerable and protective of the baby the next few days. Secretly, as soon as I could, I got out the still picture that captured his hand and counted the joints in his little finger. I'd read somewhere that Downs babies sometimes only have two joints. My baby had three. What a relief. We still had a two week wait for the official results. It would be a race to get them before I left the states to return to Thailand. On the last possible day I called the clinic. They said they would do their best to get back to me. All day I tried to figure out how I could cope if we got bad news. The only thing I could come up with was if we were the unlucky 1 in 100 that meant that 99 other couples would get good news. The very short call came in the late afternoon. The first thing she said was, 'I've got good news.' I guess she'd done this lots and KNEW how to start the conversation. That is really all I needed to hear. The tests confirmed that we were having a boy.

I hung up and immediately called my husband. He'd returned a week earlier and it was the middle of the night there. I could hardly get the words out through my happy tears. Since he was half asleep he read me all wrong so I kept shouting, 'he's okay!'

I laid on the couch cradling my stomach and tried to figure out the difference between faith and intuition. I'd always sensed that the baby was a boy, but I didn't dare dream it was. We truly had no preference but felt that if the gender was written in a file somewhere why not find out? I'd also always had faith that the baby was okay. But of course did not dare dream/wish that it was so.

When my mother returned I told her 'I've just successfully navigated a statistical obstacle course.'

Now all we had to do was figure out which continent we would have the baby on. I calculated that I spent somewhere around 3 1/2 days in the air over the next few months. My baby wasn't even born yet and so far he had been to: Phuket, Hong Kong, Singapore, Chiang Mai, Tokyo, Chicago, Indianapolis, California and Amsterdam! Literally around the world. We flew to Holland and to San Francisco chasing a job that my husband eventually turned down. I do not advise this. We took a short holiday to Koh Samui where we basically tried to get over out jet-lag and the 'the cough' we had caught on our world tour.

Back home in Bangkok I now started on my quest to find the perfect Doctor and hospital to deliver our precious baby. The appointments with the OB/GYN I had been seeing were becoming more and more strained. And I just could not imagine him delivering my baby. Plus he kept mentioning that a caesarian was a real possibility because my baby was so 'precious'. Am I stupid? Or aren't ALL babies precious? So once I realized that I REALLY WAS having a baby I decided to try and find someone else. I made a short list of four possibilities.

First, I went back to Mongkutwattana where I had been admitted twice previously. They have a communal labor room with four beds. Once you are ready to deliver you are transferred to a small soundproof room where there have a state of the art delivery bed. I spoke to a different Doctor than had done my surgery. Dr. Anon speaks very good English & has a certificate in reproductive endocrinology from an American University, so he was able to answer questions everyone else had shrugged off. He has experience in alternative birth positions, but is very persuasive in defending the traditional 'lithotomy' position. He understood my desire to wait to cut the baby's cord until the pulse stopped spontaneously. I felt comfortable enough with him to ask if Thai's routinely circumcise their little boys. He crossed his legs and screwed up his face and said, 'no'. This was certainly the warmest and fuzziest hospital of the four I visited. But I did not like that the baby would be taken from me to be put in a 'cooling down' incubator for a few hours.

The second hospital was Bangkok Nursing Home. It's a smallish, clean & new facility. They also had separate labor & delivery rooms. The lady Doctor and I did not get along at all. I guess two headstrong women in the delivery room is one too many. We were both older women who were used to being in charge so the search continued. Again there was no choice in giving the baby up to a cooling incubator.

Sametivej hospital, which I saw next, has a good reputation in Bangkok for natural childbirth. Brochures from the World Health Organization are found in the waiting room. FYI point #13 states:

The healthy newborn must remain with the mother, whenever both their conditions permit it. No process of observation of the healthy newborn justifies a separation from the mother.

First I toured their labor and delivery facility. They have one beautiful room where I could imagine myself giving birth. The room had a mattress on the floor, dim lights and a Jacuzzi. I took an immediate liking to the midwife who showed me around. She was one of the first people who I felt I would like to have calling the shots at the birth of my baby. They have a three day delivery package, epidural not included. It took me forever to get home. If there was an acceptable hospital closer to home, that still would be preferable.

The last Doctor I met was at the same hospital I was already going to. Each OB/GYN at Bumrungrad has pretty much complete leeway in how they conduct labor & delivery. There is a new labor/delivery wing with six L-D-R (Labor-Delivery-Recovery) rooms, with four operating theaters across the hall. This connects to the NICU. They boast one of only two neo-natologists in all of Bangkok. The L-D-R rooms have a TV, recliner, and a private shower. Once the baby is born I would have a choice of a suite, deluxe or single room - all private. There is a royal suite as well but chances are it is ALWAYS already occupied. And I would never be able to talk my husband into the expense, even if I wanted to. They also have a three day delivery package which is about US$100 cheaper than Sametivej, epidural included.

Well, after a short discussion I decided Dr. Nopadol was my man. He had all the right answers. I think I would feel confident enough to let him use his judgment. Dr. Nopadol has a very low personal caesarian rate and trusts nature enough to let it run its course (until there is a problem and then he is confident enough to step in and use his medical knowledge) and was educated in Europe (UK-so the best English I've encountered yet). He thinks a woman should give birth in the position that feels right at the time. I was very relieved not to have to face the long drive back and forth to Sametivej. Bumrungrad is right off the highway and now that the new stretch is open it only takes about 35 minutes to reach.

I was dismayed to find the labor & delivery world divided into two mutually exclusive groups; 1) the natural childbirth advocates and 2) the 'childbirth doesn't have to be painful anymore' school. These two groups often hold diametrically opposing opinions about the same issue. I abhor extremes and was hoping to find a middle ground Doctor and hospital. Sametivej has declared itself to be on the side of natural childbirth while Bumrungrad, by not taking sides is assumed to be of the other school. Both hospital run prenatal classes. Bumrungrad offers a series of five classes in English currently held on Thursday night. Sametivej runs a series on Sundays and also has a class on Friday once a month for each trimester.

It was frustrating that I couldn't call a hospital and just ask to talk to the head of Obstetrics. If I could've done that then I would've discussed the various styles of the Doctors on staff to see which one best matched my preferences. All the hospitals wanted a name of an OB/GYN before they'd commit to an appointment. So where I didn't have a name I just asked for their youngest lady OB Doctor who had experience in natural childbirth.

Third Trimester - Under Construction
My due date is June 10th so I am still in the 3rd trimester. Remember all a due date IS JUST AN ESTIMATE, it could be two weeks either way. So please no one call me until June 25th to say, 'Where is our baby'?

I sent the following to a male friend who asked me what it's like to be pregnant.

What it is like to be 7 months pregnant. To get an idea this is what you should do. First, turn the heat up in your apartment about 5 degrees F higher than where you are comfortable. Then fill a balloon with 16 pounds of water, get a 4 pound baby sea-otter. Give the baby sea-otter about 10 cups of coffee & then put it in the water balloon. Strap the water balloon securely to your stomach. Now you can't take the water balloon off for anything. You have to sleep, eat work & exercise wearing this extra 20 pounds. No sleeping on your stomach or back. Side sleeping only. Now go to a costume store and get the most hideous clown costume you can find. Wear it all the time. And you have to go on a very healthy diet, no white sugar, flour, caffeine or alcohol. And you have to avoid raw eggs, meat & fish (no sushi!) & unpasturized cheese. Enjoy. Oh over the next 4 weeks replace the baby sea-otter with one that is 1 pound heavier. Don't forget to give it the 10 cups of coffee first. You need that for the movement effect. Everyone who sees that you have a sea-otter filled water balloon will have some unwelcome comment for you. Like, 'gosh my sea-otter filled balloon was that size right before I delivered!' Or 'do you need a special zoning permit for that thing?' or my favorite (not!) 'Are you sure there aren't two sea otters in there?' Yeah. Right. This is 1999 and you're 7 months along. I think you would know if there were 2 sea-otters already. I don't really know how the sea-otter comes out in month nine. There seems to be some kind of gag order for everyone else who gets their sea-otter to come out, so I will just have to wait until I have to do it myself to find out what it's like.

My third trimester (what an arbitrary demarcation!) was fairly short. First of all because I didn't notice that I was in it until a whole month had passed. I attribute this to taking care of myself. Walking on the treadmill at the gym, floating in the pool, eating right and napping as much as possible.

So my DR says I'll go into labor within the next 4 weeks. I probably won't recognize it. I'll be in and indefinite amount of pain for an uncertain amount of time and my huge belly will eventually become a baby. Sounds pretty unbelievable to me.

I feel like a damsel in distress tied to the railroad tracks with the labor and delivery train whistling in the not to far distance. Even with the huge belly the feel-good pregnancy hormones have allowed me to feel beautiful until about the 32nd week. At that point I started to feel enormous. Secretly I was hoping that my father's deal included a painless delivery- but how was fate going to pull that off?

There's a theory that pregnancy hormones make you feel good so that you won't panic and become hysterical about all the hard work that is ahead of you once the baby is born. Another part of this theory is that the baby won't be born until you become uncomfortable enough to prefer labor to carrying the baby anymore. This didn't happen to me until the last ten days or so.

Have been in the foulest mood lately. Maybe that's because I've gained 28 pounds, all in my belly which is sticking out like a horizontal watermelon from my navel which gives me the profile of Alfred Hitchcock. Ick. And I can feel that not so little head trying to squeeze through my pelvis. Ouch. If it weren't a natural occurrence...I would call it torture.

What they don't tell you about 'dropping' - 1) your clothes will fit funny. The ones you can still fit into. 2) Your torso skin will fit funny too, you can't rub enough anti-stretch mark cream on it. Are we having fun yet? No.

At my 37 week appointment I felt like someone was trying to jack my hips apart. My Doctor was going away during the upcoming holiday weekend so my next appointment wouldn't be for another ten days. TEN DAYS! He didn't think anything was going to happen for an agonizing additional TEN DAYS! I was distraught. I distracted myself with shopping. One of my friends, a nurse told me to look up when the next full moon would be. Because that is when I would deliver. The Sunday before my 37 week checkup on Monday I was able to time my Braxton Hicks contractions every five minutes so I laid down for a nap. A friend dropped by. I was so glad to see her because she had three kids. She said it was false labor and I would deliver in a week. They were both right.

When I did not go into labor at 38 weeks and one day as I had hoped, I put myself to sleep that night thinking up reasons why it would be good to stay pregnant another 2-3 weeks.

The next morning I thought, this is strange, there was no false labor the whole night long and then my water broke.

Birth Story
My water broke when I was 38 weeks 2 days at 7:30 am on Saturday the 29th of May.

I wanted to eat breakfast before I called the Doctor because he doesn't allow you to eat during labor. Had devil of a time figuring out how to beep him. Was too excited to finish my food. Finally spoke to the Doctor at 8 o'clock He was 3 hours away. I asked if we should bring everything & he said yes. I thought we had plenty of time so was calm, but Allan was testy and we bickered all the way to the hospital.

Unbeknownst to me the Doctor hopped in his car for the drive from the beach. At the hospital they made Allan wait outside while I was put in a kimono like gown and hooked up to the fetal monitor. Baby was fine but there were NO contractions. The nurse examined me and then talked to the Doc on his cell phone. He asked to speak to me and said 'we need to consider the real possibility of a cesarean'. I was floored! I said I'd try to go into labor in the next 45 minutes. I was barely 1 cm and not effaced & Andy's head was not engaged. I kept asking to see my husband- he'd not been allowed in the prep room.

Finally I was moved to a birthing suit and got to be with my husband. I told him what the Doc said. We knew all along that I might need a cesarean but I still was hysterical over the idea. I was hooked to the monitor again. Doctor arrived and confirmed the nurses assessment that I was not in labor and said we could induce but it didn't look good and we'd most likely end up with an abdominal delivery anyway. I asked Doctor if I was his sister what would he recommend?

Doctor left Allan & me alone to decide. A sweet little nurse came in and asked what kind of room I wanted & did I want the package or a la carte? I wanted to kill her. I asked for a VIP suit. I think my husband wanted to argue with me but didn't dare since I was crying inconsolably at the time.

The decision was a no-brainer we weren't about to risk our baby to infection. Nor did I want to start down the induction, epidural, episiotomy, assisted birth path that often begins with an induction. I said I never had my heart set on a natural birth anyway.

They brought in a wheelchair for my short trip across the hall to the operating theater. The anesthetist poked my back expertly once. The epidural began to take effect, but not enough so she put me out for a very short time and just a few minutes later at 12:02 I heard the most beautiful sound in the world, Andy's cry! Uh-leh! Uh-leh! I ached to see him. So as soon as they could the pediatrician let me cuddle the little guy.

They brought the baby to me in recovery. He was awake for a little while and then he slept for the next two days! I went up to my room at 4:00. I was allowed 24 hr rooming in the whole time. All I had to do was ring for someone to give me my baby or change him. 24 hrs after the surgery my IV and catheter were removed and I was allowed to get up and move about. I felt like a million bucks.

Songkran in Chiang Mai on only US$500/day
The Greatest Spectacle in Squirt Gun Fighting



The throwing of water originated as a way to pay respect to people, by gently pouring a small amount of lustral water on other people’s hands or over a shoulder as a sign of respect. Among young people the holiday evolved to include dousing strangers with water to relieve the heat, since April is the hottest month in Thailand (temperatures can rise to over 100°F or 40°C on some days). This has further evolved into water fights and splashing water over people riding in vehicles.
Nowadays, the emphasis is on fun and water-throwing rather than on the festival's spiritual and religious aspects, which sometimes prompts complaints from traditionalists. In recent years there have been calls to moderate the festival to lessen the many alcohol-related road accidents as well as injuries attributed to extreme behavior such as water being thrown in the faces of traveling motorcyclists.
The water is meant as a symbol of washing all of the bad away and is sometimes filled with fragrant herbs.- Wikipedia

Saturday 10 April, 6:30 a.m. No driver. This trip had been planned for weeks and our driver was one-half hour late. Which is unheard of. It made us feel helpless until I realized we've done without a driver most of our lives so when Al said, "Let's just go." I said, "Ok." As we were pulling out of the driveway the maid said, "telephone". In Thai. So we fired up the mobile and dialed Su, our truant driver. Al didn't quite understand him but after a very looong story it seemed he'd panicked after having motorcycle trouble.
So we headed off in the direction of where we THINK he lives. Notes: neither of us have ever actually been to Su's house. We passed lots and lots of monks out on their alms rounds. This we've never seen before so close to our home. Either we are never up this early or take a different route. We pass Su going the other way on the back of a motorcycle taxi. Su sullenly crawls into the back seat…because Al refuses to return to our house for Su's sitting cushion and squirt gun.
We stop twice at truck stops to refuel the car and eat during our leisurely +/-9 hour drive. Let me tell you squat toilets when you are 7 months pregnant are quite an adventure! Al drove the whole way. Su slept. We drove through a small city on the way and began to get into the dousing spirit. Buckets of water are thrown at our car. Then it rain. Maybe there is something to this sympathetic magic?
The hotel where I have told Al to make the reservations is not the one I thought it was. Mai Pen Rai (never mind). It is nice anyway. We find all the requirements; bungalows, gardens, running water-in and outside. PLUS a pool! Mai Sa valley is only 1 kilometer down the road from the place where I meant for us to stay (Pong Yang resort, but they don't advertise in the tourist guide so I couldn't find their phone number). Mai Sai valley resort is set among 18 acres of gardens on the side of a hill. The hot water to our thatched roof cabin is warmed by a medium sized propane tank attached to the outside of one wall. We locate the fire extinguisher. Walking up and down the paths of our resort reminds me of when we stayed in Zermatt. The resort even has a rope and pulley system to bring in supplies-just like the milk transport ones you see in the Swiss mountains.
I chose a 'splurge' restaurant. 'The Gallery' out of the Lonely Planet Guide and we set off. Su got to drive.
Please note, Allan's pillow has been safely carried to our room while mine is still in the car sitting on the front seat. Al gets his super-duper squirt gun out and points the tip out of the window. I guess this gives new meaning to the term 'riding shotgun'. I guess you could say he was riding 'squirt gun'. He co-ordinates a routine where Su quickly opens the electric passenger window for him so Al can concentrate on aiming. All I can think about is the bad karma that Al must be accumulating by stalking unwary pedestrians to spray from the comfy protection of our car. It didn't seem like a fair fight to me.
The restaurant is extremely nice. The road front is an antique shop and the back is an open air riverfront dining area. We ordered too much food -- which is basically the story of our lives in Thailand.
Last we went shopping in the night market. Everything is easier this time since we don't have to get our bearings. Allan reminds me over and over not to hold back on my purchases since this is probably our last trip to Chiang Mai. So I pick up an XL t-shirt decorated with Japanese brush stroke bamboo leaves and birds to sleep in. For the first time I see a triangle pillow in NICE colors, so we get it. We buy 2 sets of wind chimes and Al gets a golf watch.
Back in our room we got acquainted with the resident tching-tchok (gecko) and find out that the water heater does not work. There is no fan or airco in the room and it is very warm so washing in cold water before retiring helps to cool us down. We fell asleep to the sound of the babbling brook outside our window. The jungle night noises wake us now and again -- probably just tamarind pods falling on our roof, right?
We woke to a glorious cool morning. Al went early to play golf. I went to breakfast late. I tried to inspect the water heater but there were signs everywhere that said not to adjust it. 2 or 3 people ask me if I had hot water, so I guess they saw me. Spies! I hand my room key over to a man who goes to check out the problem.
On the walk up to breakfast I saw an overgrown pergola that I had not noticed the day before -- which is not surprising considering the spectacular flowerbeds EVERYWHERE. The resort is snuggled among mountains in every direction. Someone is obviously a passionate gardener. The resort achieved a harmonic mixture of English cottage garden and Thai. The result is…Biarritz. Who says you can't mix orange and pink? If you are Thai you can with complete confidence.
My morning swim was bracing. The only other person at the pool was a very nice French lady. She was a friend of the owner's wife. The wife was the gardener and she spends a lot of time in England and France. So that explained it. Al appeared at the pool around lunch time. After a dip we decide to grab a quick bite at the shack across the road from the resort. This will leave us more time to shop Sankampaeng Road which we have affectionately dubbed 'factory row'.
It's uncomfortably warm but we still managed to do some damage at a pottery shop (two vases and a cream colored porcelain elephant). The girls took for ever to pack everything in acres of bubble wrap, shredded newspaper, and fragile stickers. Reminded me of how Amy (my sister who works at UPS) packs. I also bought some Thai silk from an old lady street vendor. My technique was to pick something out and then have Al bargain and pay for it. But after looking at the lady's face he didn't have the heart to dicker her down. We're talking an asking price of US$2.50 per yard anyway. Al ordered a hope chest from a teak shop. It would have to be delivered later as the factory was closed for the holiday.
Our last stop was an absolutely HUGE jewelry store. At the entrance they ask us what languages we speak in order that a personal shopper could be assigned to us. Inside were enormous fish tanks-I guess to calm husbands down. I make a bee-line for the ruby rings, which is my sole objective. I am surprised by how small the stones are. We looked at ones set in 18 karat gold, ones in 14 karat gold but I just didn’t find ‘it’. We ambled by the loose stone cases and I saw lots and lots of tiny square cut rubies. So we made our way over to the multiple stone ruby ring case and our shopper offered to get more out of the safe. I found a ring that appealed to me, we got it sized then it was put away for my post-partum blues day. At our last prenatal class the midwife said on the third day I should be given some jewelry to cheer me up -- something shiny and expensive to counteract the loss of pregnancy hormones.
I was exhausted by this point. Al was ready to do watery battle from the dry protection of our vehicle. Several buckets of water landed in the car. Of course. Al and Su had a ways to go before perfecting their window down/take aim routine.
That night we dined at the resort we MEANT to stay in. It is quite nice but the gardens were not as extensive as where we WERE staying. We dined with a lit waterfall behind us. Way cool. We ordered 9 dishes and end the meal with freshpineapple and cantaloupe.
A million stars were visible on our walk back to our room. Some kind of creature shouted, "How, How!" outside our window in the early morning.
Again Al rose early to play golf and I slept to my heart's content before waddling my way uphill to breakfast. In the morning I took pictures of the gardens and enjoy some 'Chiang Mai apples' that the driver had given me. I share my extra fruit with the French lady from the pool. After a morning nap and a swim I went to meet Al for lunch at the golf course. The course had the most bee-you-ti-full ladies lounge I had ever seen. Imagine the nicest Nordstroms ladies lounge you have ever been in, add a sauna/steam room and a glassed in area full of couches and you will get the idea. But all I had to do was use the bathroom.
After lunch we went to a wood carving village (Baan Tawai) we visited on our last trip to Chaing Mai. I can't even remember what all Al picked up. But I stayed in the car while he decided what he wanted to show me in various shops. Some of it would be shipped and some of it was immediately arranged in various areas of our house as soon as we got home. Next we revisited a quilt store we'd found before. Unfortunately the restaurant I picked for the night only had good Tex-Mex food. My tacos and nachos were outstanding but Al's pizza was obviously well acquainted with the deep freeze. So definitely visit "The American Restaurant" but order from the Tex-Mex stuff. We earned 39 free minutes of internet time with our meal but were too impatient to use it.
We happened upon a street that was blocked off for what looked like a food fair. So we strolled along trying to figure out what the heck everyone was serving/eating.
We got back very late. Driving around in the dark we could be anywhere. I wondered, 'what I am doing crawling around here, on the underbelly of the world?' On the way to the room we saw a forest fire opposite our resort. I thought of our propane tank and thatch roof. Al checked the fire extinguisher again. At breakfast the next day the owner assured me that the resort had a double fire break. I checked it out. He was right.
Tuesday was the actual start of Songkran so we drove as far as we could down a main street. I was really worried about getting the inside of the car wet. Our trip home would be miserable enough with my big belly but on a wet seat it would be unbearable. So we parked the car, grabbed our squirt guns and ventured forth. We were basically soaked immediately. The people were very sweet and asked first if they could pour a small bowl of water on my neck, shoulder or …BELLY! Yes, Andy received many, many good luck wishes for the new year. The foreigners were more aggressive.
Chaing Mai city is blessed with an outdoor café called JJ's. We were lucky enough to find a table there and try to dry off a little. A procession started in the late afternoon. I managed to find a folding chair where I could enjoy the whole thing sitting down. Buddha statues from the local temples were brought out and paraded around on floats. I guess you could call it sympathetic magic? People would spray a little water on Buddha and then later when the rice is planted Buddha would rain LOTS of water down for the rice to grow.
When the day was over I changed into dry clothes behind the car. Al just managed to get dry shorts on before two girls walked by. We liked the riverside restaurant from the first night so much that we decided to try another, 'The Good View'. It was complete gamble and the best meal we had.
One last stroll though the night market ended out trip. I found some tumbling bronze angles and a green lacquered box. Al finally found a stall to make us a gong stand. And many other items too numerous to list.
I nagged Al all the way home to lay down his squirt gun. He simply was unable to take his finger off of the trigger. I felt surrounded by males. Aggressive males.
• One kicking me in the stomach. Yes, the baby could sense the excitement/agitation and would really make a ruckus as Su and Allan tried to locate targets.
• One by my side with a 'weapon'.
• And one up front driving and abetting my husband.
I told Al that each bucket of water that fell on me through the window would cost him 1 karat in diamonds. Only three buckets of water landed on me on the way home. Once I am rested I will go to a jewelry store in Bangkok. Just kidding. -Nancy

Koh Samui- Paradise Found
Wednesday, February 24, 1999



One hour and ten minutes flight south of Bangkok is Koh Samui. Ho hum. Another island paradise. My only serious preparation for the trip had been to remove my wristwatch. Our hotel transfer met us at the quaint airport and carried the bags to his pick-up truck. I was a little afraid of going into premature labor on the very bumpy road but we arrived safely at 'Montien House'.
We took a walk on the beach to the south after we checked into our hotel. It was already dark but many familiar stars lit our way. We walked back along the road which was lined by batik hawkers and the like.
The next morning we got up late-what a joy to finally be over jet-lag! Breakfast was served at our hotel until 11 - 11:30 so it was no problem. Next we walked north on the beach (Chewang beach). We arrived at the furthest point around noon. A non-pregnant person could probably walk the entire length of the beach in 45 minutes but it would take me about 2 hours to waddle that far in the heat in my condition.
A steady breeze kept things cool. We stopped to view some serviced apartments called 'Muang Kulaypan Hotel'. And stayed and stayed. Sitting in a 'Lanna' style booth at the hotel restaurant (Budsba) between the beach and the pool Al hatched an idea.
Not knowing our future after September, I wasn't too keen on the idea of staying in a serviced apartment on Sukumvit (in Bangkok) for a few months after we left our house. Al said, "Why don't we come here instead?" I loved the Japanese Zen design of the place so I said, "Yes." That was if another job doesn't find him first.
No doubt if you look up the definition of 'laid back' in the dictionary it will say See 'Koh Samui'. I saw another pregnant woman wearing sarong pants tied under her belly. I couldn't help but wonder if she was planning on wearing her navel ring during labor? The unpretentious wasland is a favorite with backpacker hippie types. But we were just old rich people pretending to be hippies for a few days. None of the beachwear vendors that I saw were wearing their wares. We saw lots of dread locks, men with long hair and tattoos. Not to mention body piercing. Just us and five or six thousand Germans.
If you really get bored you could get a 1 hour massage right on the beach for about US$5 an hour. Or if your hair was long enough, you could get your hair braided into cornrows with little colored beads put on ends.
Our second day on a tropical island paradise. Never mind wearing shoes to breakfast. I suppose if I showed up in my nightgown (as I regularly do at home) no one would bat an eye. There was another reason for me not to wear shoes though. I found out why they are called 'sandals'. Wading in the surf the previous day allowed enough sand to stick on the Velcro of my Tevas to rub blisters on my feet.
We experienced a duplicate idyllic morning. Al went sailing on a rented catamaran (Hobie 16) while I sat and read 'Cruising World' magazine and watched him out of the corner of my eye. The people watching along the beach is great. Naked children. Absentminded European women who had forgotten to pack the tops to their two piece swim-suits. Real people with real bodies. I saw very few perfect bodies but lots of very sweet extremely old couples holding hands.
Is 'leisure activity' an oxymoron?
My lunch was so good that day that despite intending to eat only half of it (brown rice with sweet and sour fish) I ate all the rice. I really don't have a lot of space for food these days as the baby is pushing my stomach up against my ribs and I was very uncomfortable. I thought the skin on my abdomen would split so I went into the toilet and smeared suntan lotion all over my gut.
During my walk to dinner I regretted learning any of the Thai language. We overheard many comment on my protruding stomach. Roughly translated the comments were all variations of, "Wow! Look at the size of her huge belly!"
Day three found us in a rented jeep circumnavigating the tiny island. We found the ingredients for a perfect lunch; sea, sandy beach, surf, 85F degrees, 3-4 Bft breeze (enough to keep the bugs away). I guess the waitperson was the cook's husband eager to show off his wife's cooking talents augmented by the best service he could offer as the lone waiter.
The next day's lunch was perfect as well. We went back to Budsba Restaurant and claimed a Lanna style hut. The baby seemed to really be lulled by the woosh-woosh of the waves. A little squall was brewing so the wind and waves picked up. A steady stream of peddlers offering bright batik sarongs, charcoal grilled sate (cooking as they walked) and corn on the cob went by our hut. I bought two very large rectangular scarves.
Koh Samui has a darling airport. Our airline offered all the complimentary bananas you'd like in the open air waiting area. Cute trams ferried passengers from the terminal to the planes. I was asked THREE times how many months pregnant I was before being allowed to board. Or maybe they just thought I was trying to sneak a whole boneless ham onto the flight under my shirt?

Weekend in Petchabun (Pet-cha’-boon)

(Quaker girl dances the Ramwong)
One Saturday morning we found ourselves (My husband, myself and our Thai driver ‘Sue’) driving towards ‘upcountry’ (defined as anywhere outside of Bangkok) to attend the Buddhist priest ordination of our driver’s cousin. We had not really made any coordinated plans, although the three of us had individual ideas of what we would do. The information we had wrested from the driver was sketchy and seemed to change from day to day.
Al was out late the previous evening and had arisen early to get in 18 holes of golf. As such he was tired and after downing some carry out from Burger King fell into a deep sleep. I could not go to sleep in the car as I watched in horror for two hours as our driver played ‘chicken’ with the oncoming traffic on a stretch of road that was under construction and therefor down to only one lane. Luckily, the road shoulder was generous and in not-too-bad condition. We could veer off onto the shoulder when the traffic going the opposite direction ‘won’ the game of chicken. Throughout the ordeal my husband slept peacefully.
Sue had removed the headrests so that we would have a better view from the back seat. I was not grateful for this at first but when the normally flat scenery became mountainous in the distance it did improve the view.
After a several hours, we arrived in a small suburb of ‘Petchabun’ (north and east of Bangkok) which I dubbed ‘Sueville’. The reason for this being that of the 15 houses in the village 11 of them were occupied by Sue’s various relatives. First we were led into his mother’s house. She was a short, heavy-set jolly woman as all mother’s should be. We sat on some unbelievable uncomfortable and beautiful Chinese couches and were given cola’s after turning down water, tea and whiskey. All the fans in the town must have been brought into the house and directed on us to keep us cool. It was hot and I think they were self conscious about not having air conditioning. I walked over to more closely inspect the three treadle sewing machines. Evidently one of Sue’s uncles was a tailor.
We had assumed that we would have time to change into more festive clothes and wash up before the evening celebration. But as it turned out we were to be given the best room in town and had to go to the dinner that night in our shorts and t-shirts like everybody else. The best room in the village turned out to belong to Sue’s aunt whose son was to be ordained as a priest. She was recently remarried to a German man whom she had met in Pattaya. Her first husband, a policeman, had died in the line of duty some years previously. Thus, she was allowed to add a small house onto the back of the Sueville police station. The house had a decided German influence. Allan reluctantly agreed to staying in the new air conditioned room after being told for the umpteenth time that Petchabun proper was too far away over the mountains. The setting of Petchabun was one of a fertile valley bordered by scenic mountains on three sides. As we waited for the festivities to get underway, Sue entertained us with the story of his 2 hour predawn bus trip to school along the road we were travelling.
We were moved outside where numerous tables of eight were set-up for the dinner that night. All the fans from inside were dragged outside and aimed at us again. We watched as someone took some wire cutters to the utility pole in front of us. As best we could figure they were trying to wire up the stereo. Each table had a bottle of pop, two bottles of still water, two of carbonated water and two bottles of Mekong whiskey.
We met Sue’s brother, son and his wife and her two sisters and their mother. And his 90 year old grandfather and the cousin who would be ordained the next day. This cousin was dressed in a robe of white lace and his head was shaved. He came over and spoke to us in English. Blaring music came from the stereo system. We noticed that different blaring music was coming from a separate set of speakers to the east of us. This turned out to be a mobile moving theater unrelated to our party. A whole outdoor theater was unloaded from a semi-trailer (except for the commercial projector) and people came from near and far to sit on their straw mats and watch Thai movies. The noise was deafening.
Since I was pregnant they brought food to us the same time that they fed the children. I felt embarrassed eating before the adults but finally decided it would be better not to embarrass my hosts by refusing their hospitality. I watched as a baby was passed around a table in front of us. I estimate that the baby made about two revolutions in five minutes. High chairs and baby buggies aren’t really popular in Thailand (or Asia I believe) as there is almost always a pair of extended-family arms to receive that baby while the parents want to eat.
Two policemen ambled across the street and sat down and helped themselves to food. We found out later that they were cousins.
After eating we took a walk down to a little bridge for a little relief from the noise. It can get terribly dark in the country. We had forgotten that after living in the suburbs of Bangkok. None of the stars were familiar.
The evening’s ceremony consisted of a few monks chanting in one of the houses. Parts of it were extremely beautiful and reminded us of some Irish mouth music we had once heard.
We turned in and even though our bedroom was in the back of the house it was still quite loud. The air conditioner hum was a welcome layer of white noise over the racket outside. Every time I woke up it seems the movie theater was still roaring away.
The next morning we were treated to a German frustuck (breakfast) complete with worst and bread hot from the bread machine. We donned our party clothes and started off at eight o’clock in the morning with the rest of the procession. The wat (temple) was a few miles away so we went in cars. The cousin priest-to-be rode in the back of a pick-up truck with a large parasol protecting him from the sun. We had to wait as a herd of cows was led from one pasture, across the road to another pasture.
Three monks were to be ordained as priests that day. The one before us appears to be the wealthiest and the one behind our group seemed to be the poorest. We made this deduction from the contrast in attire, musicians and offerings. I admired Sue’s females relative who had dressed up in Thai silks or cottons. Allan admired Sue’s 90 year old grandfather who was resting by the wall to the wat. He was squatted down sitting on his hauches heels to the ground. You try it.
The group began to move clockwise around the outside temple. A cool breeze from the nearby mountains was blowing in the glorious morning air. An offering package was given to me to carry to the temple and I noticed that the women in front of me were holding it high by their heads. I did the same not wanting to break with tradition when I realized that they were just using the gifts as sunshades. Thais admire light skin and therefore shun any attempt at a suntan. The offerings demonstrated that we really don’t need much. Monks own as little as possible, some robes, a bowl to accept food in and maybe a shoulder bag. Inside the gifts-wrapped in saffron saran wrap-was a bucket containing a travel size of laundry detergent, a can of condensed milk, a bar of soap, and a toothbrush and toothpaste. The richer groups presents was very similar but instead of a bucket there was a small cooler.
Our group danced round the temple three times. The traditional Thai dance is called the ‘Ramwong’. This is where you bend your fingers back until they hurt and then curl them around the other way as if you were going to make shadow birds on the wall. I had brought Al’s golf umbrella in case the sun became too much for me but it was appropriated for someone else (elderly and feeble – I assume).
I left my shoes outside before entering the wat. Sue’s wife, who speaks no English, motioned for me not to step on the temple threshold (VERY bad form) and then I sat on the floor inside making sure that my feet did not point at the Buddha statue or at one of the monk/priests performing the ceremony (a sign of disrespect). In Thailand feet are considered the dirtiest part of the body and therefor not something you want to point at a holy person. At the end of the service the three new priests exchanged their white clothes for saffron robes. Sue leaned over and told me that they even have to give up underwear! Simplify, simplify, simplify. I refused some incense sticks thinking the smell would not sit well with my pregnant belly.
During the lengthy ceremony when my legs started to go to sleep we got up and went outside. We wandered over to what must be a meditation pond complete with stocked fish. A little shelter house was built out over the water and the cool exquisite breeze continued into the late morning. We could have stayed forever. We got back to the ceremony just at the tail end of the chanting. The three new monks waited a little bit outside the temple and people put cash donations hidden in incense into their shoulder bags. Since I had refused the incense sticks Al just had to plunk the cash in undisguised. Pictures were being taken of the new monks with various family members. Sue’s new German uncle motioned for his wife to put her arm around her son. I guess he didn’t know that monks are not allowed to make eye contact with women much less touch them.

Marathon Drive to the North of Thailand


17 October Thru 25 October
(Please not the weird food cravings. I was ‘late’ but in denial)
Most people from Bangkok either fly or ride the train to the Northern Thai city of Chiang Mai. They have their chauffeur drive separately because Chiang Mai is a major shopping city for handicrafts, woodcarvings, textiles and baskets. This leaves a car free to be filled with packages. We decided to leave very, very early and sleep in the backseat while our chauffeur drove what we expected to be about an 8 hour trip. The main attraction for me was going north to cool mountain weather. I really haven't wanted to acquire ANYTHING since packing up the house alone earlier this year. Even in a tiny Dutch house, 10 years of accumulation adds up.
It wasn’t the high season hadn't started yet because the monsoon was technically not yet over but this was the only week that Al could squeeze in a vacation.
5 1/2 hours after leaving home we stopped at a temple in Nakorn Nayak. It was a Saturday, so there were lots of visitors to the Wat(a Thai Temple). Some were bowing to the golden Buddha statue holding sticks of smoking incense. The respectful form of greeting in Thailand is the 'wai'. You put your hands up like you are going to blow your nose and bow a little. Other visitors were shaking wooden cans with numbered sticks in them. One of the sticks would pop up and that would be the number of fortune paper they could pick up elsewhere.
Before lunch we stopped at Sukothai, an old historical city. All that remains of the old city are extensive ruins. We clambered around some terra cotta brick temples in a park. Many Buddha's sat in alcoves with just the pointy headdress poking out the top. Other German, Belgian and Portuguese tourists were viewing the park by bus and bicycle. It was not cooler yet. In fact it was still uncomfortably hot. I don't know how the bicycle tourists stood the stifling heat. We partook of some 'fast food' at the park, dried beef, chicken fried rice and ‘practiced’ handicraft shopping around the few stalls by the open air eating area. The typical eating arrangement in Thailand is the 'food court' which is just a bunch stalls selling various kinds of goodies.
Al's secretary had given us a discount coupon for a resort hotel in Chiang Mai. We were not too disappointed when we found out that it was full because it was also under restoration. My map (Nancy Chandler's 12th edition) showed a teak-hut bungalow hotel not too far out of the city so we headed that way. Please note our driver is a CB radio addict (probably from years on the road) and he was querying over the radio for directions. Al and I were looking at the map, where the hotel was OBVIOUSLY to the south of the city and the driver headed east and then north. Al bullied him into the passenger seat and I navigated. It was getting dark and we were tired and impatient.
Chiang Mai Riverside Villa is hands down the most romantic and primitive place where we have EVER stayed. We checked in and sent the driver off to find a guesthouse for himself. Al's company sets a per diem for driver's when they take you on vacation so that they can stay and eat comfortably. After hanging out in the room awhile- Al had brought his computer helicopter simulator to play with on his laptop while I poked Kleenex in the holes in the screens so more bugs couldn't get into our room. This was pretty silly considering the huge gaps in the floorboards- We made our way across extensive dock walkways to the open air restaurant. An unusually marked tortoiseshell cat snuggled up to me and we enjoyed a very high quality dinner starting with a spicy seafood salad, the sour part of the salad was quite complex because of the addition of tamarind. Northern food is supposed to be more sour than Bangkok food. In Bangkok it is reputed that they add palm sugar to EVERYTHING. New age Chinese music was piped through the whole complex adding to the exotic charm.
Our driver could not believe we were staying; a) in such a mosquito infested dump b) so far away from the city. I guess romance is in the eye of the beholder. We tried to talk him into taking a holiday in the city and leaving us to our own devices but he would have none of that. He was here to protect us (from ourselves?) and would feel he'd neglected his duties by not going with us. We would have really like the privacy but what can you do?
After a wonderful night, with the fan running the whole time and a mosquito coil burning most of the night; Note our bed or pallet had a mosquito net we woke refreshed with not one mosquito bite. Breakfast was included with the room. Our host pressed us into ordering yet another of his lemongrass and something else tea concoctions. We munched our toast and fruit looking out into a bright and beautiful day. Al had really hoped the night before that we would enjoy some rain but no luck. There was a tiny bit of lightening at dusk but it petered out pretty quickly.
On Sunday we started shopping. There are many craft villages in the environs of Chiang Mai but we decided to start with a road that could be called 'factory row'. Before lunch we hit a Bronze and Jade place, a huge teak furniture shop, a ceramic factory specializing in Celadon and a cotton textile store. Lunch was at an unremarkable tourist place. The cotton shop had huge 'fixed price' signs so I did not even bother looking.
Tired of shopping we headed off to explore a nearby cave. It sounded good to me because caves are usually cool. We walked up and up a marigold lined stairway with a huge serpent design banister. A man rented us a flashlight and we started down, down many steps to the floor of the cave. Big Buddha statues sat in lit alcoves. The walls were very smooth and the stalactites & mites seemed very old and worn down. Our driver tried his CB radio in the cave but could not get any reception even with his oversized antenna.
One scenic drive to the south of Chiang Mai is said to be cooler because it is more mountainous. We headed that way and towards two bungalow resorts marked on my map. As they both charged admission to their park like grounds we persevered on to another resort we kept seeing signs for. Belle Villa is run by RCI and has an English village feel to it. Stunning mountain views are everywhere you look. We could see a storm rolling in behind the hills but it never really made it to us. At dinner Allan told the waiter (in Thai!) that he really liked very spicy food. I ordered a ceasar salad. We both were happy. The next morning we enjoyed a very English breakfast and then headed off on the scenic (and hopefully cool) drive. Getting to Samerng was more than half the fun and we careened through windy jungle sided roads. We lunched at an absolutely wonderful bungalow resort. They had a tropical mountain garden to one side and real honest to god working waterfall to the other.
I insisted that we stop at a butterfly and orchid farm. Al wasn't really sold on the idea until he saw a tank full of live scorpions. A little old man waved me over and pointed out a very ugly caterpillar. It looked like what as a child I called 'tobacco worms' but without the multicolored knobs. Then the old man picked up three huge moths and set them on my shirt.
The Lonely Planet guidebook went on and on about a restaurant called JJ's so we went there for chocolate cake at tea time. Bakery items are hard to come by in this part of the world and it seems that Chiang Mai has more than it's share of good western food. But maybe because of it's size it is just easier to seek out. After being restored by our tea we made our way towards the market area. On the way we found a 'beanie gecko' store, a hemp clothing shop and much much more. The prices were so incredibly low that it was hard to want to bargain but of course that is part of the fun and we would never want to offend any shopkeepers by breaking with protocol.
Exhausted by shopping and cheered by the site of a sidewalk café we stopped for a drink at dusk. Little girls in ethnic costumes were trying to ply their wares on the street corner. The silver studded headdresses looked incredibly hot to me. I do understand sacrificing comfort for fashion but this was definitely over the top. An Australian couple beside us struck up a conversation. At first I was suspicious of all their questions but it turned out they were psychologists (he for a prison, she for juvenile delinquents) and they were very curious about our expat life style. It never occurred to us that we were interesting for this fact alone. Everyone we know is an expat and so it doesn't seem very remarkable to us. Although we do turn to each other a lot when wonderful things happen (which they do A LOT) and say 'What have we done to deserve all this?' It's like getting something for free, we certainly don't feel like we've earned it.
Remarkably at the restaurant we chose we met our host from the Chiang Mai Riverside Villa. He had fed us so well before that we just went with his recommendation. Evidently he works at the teak hut place only on the weekends and the rest of the week he's at this restaurant.
The next morning we headed towards the 'baskets' of Hang Dong after withdrawing the maximum from our account at an ATM. We were relying solely on our Nancy Chandler map now since experience had told us we could trust it but ended up in 'Ban Tawhi' a wood carving village instead of the basket place. I have never seen my husband in such a buying frenzy before. Soon all of our small Baht bills were gone and I was waiting in the car with the air conditioning on while Al took the driver to buy a little teak spirit house. It would not fit in the car and would have to be shipped. Stuff was so cheap it was very hard not to buy things. This is the kind of thing that you find at Pottery Barn. One shop had wonderful antique Burmese gongs but all the good ones were sold. We have a perfect place on our house for one but it will just have to wait.
I really wanted salty French fries for lunch so we made our way to an Irish place recommended by the Lonely Planet guide. The food was not disappointing. Before setting off on route #118 to Chiang Rai (another city about 3 hours to the north) we bought a king size quilt we had seen earlier and decided we really had to have. Route #118 is the 'short cut' to Chiang Rai as there is a more scenic road as well. I woke up after my post lunch nap in the car to a road lined with basket shops. True to my nature I walked along and fell in love with the most expensive US12.50 (and beautiful!) one in the place. The guy would not bargain, I think probably because I was so obviously rich since I was traveling with my chauffeur. So it is not true that if you speak Thai the price goes down. When we stopped to get gas Al got his usual ice cream bar. It looked really good to me so I asked for one too. He said, ‘maybe you are pregnant. You never eat ice cream.’
After trying a couple of hotels in Chiang Rai we settled on a nondescript place. Chiang Rai is very small and quiet so we walked to a restaurant mentioned in the tourist literature. We got a little lost and met up with some another English speaking tourist who was also lost. She was very young and her head was shaved bald. She was dressed entirely in black. She tried to show us where she thought we were on our map. After turning the map right side up I convinced her as to our location. We finally found 'The Golden Triangle Inn' which turned out also had accommodation. The English language menu had a terrific explanation of a Thai meal. Most of the other tables seemed to be full of small tour groups.
After reading about Hill Tribes in the Insight Guide I did not wish to visit any. I am sure that such a trip would rile my barely concealed outrage at exploitation of indigenous people. But that is what you do in Northern Thailand and Al and the driver wanted to go.
Wednesday morning Al received a fax from his secretary at the hotel that outlined the rules for a car rally we were participating in the following weekend. The rules were in Thai and the driver was given instructions to translate them. As he was feeling a little car sick (Al was driving today and the chauffeur was in the back seat reading) the translation would have to wait. Al wanted to go to a remote mountain village known for it's Chinese inhabitants. Some Chinese fled to this Thai village after the communists took over China. The drive was more scenic mountain ways. The village was a dusty collection of shops selling dried cherries, preserved fruits and teas. As soon as we parked two adorable little boys pressed their noses against my car window and started begging. The prices were even more unbelievable low than before. Prematurely aged women kept dragging me to their stalls or asking me to pay them for having my picture taken with them. I couldn't bring myself to bargain for anything. When I bought some tea I thought the lady said 400 baht so I countered with 300. Luckily the driver was there so he said the price is 40 baht (US 1) so I just paid. It is probably about one kilo of loose tea. We refused samples of the brewed tea for hygiene reason but could not resist the preserved sour fruit samples.
We made it to the most northern city in Thailand for lunch. There was a border crossing to Burma here. We couldn't find anything resembling a restaurant -just the usual assortment of noodle carts and vats of breaded and deep fried insects. Finally we spied a covered place by the river where we sat and watched first a man and then a snake swim across the muddy brown river. Now it was my turn to go into a buying frenzy. The sidewalks are lined with stalls that sell loose 'gems'. I thought I would risk buying a small sapphire for US20 or so. If it turned out to be cut glass I would still have a pretty stone. When the lady started the bidding at US7.25 I decided to buy a pretty green stone as well. Who knows what it really is? I'll have them mounted as soon as I can find a jeweler I can trust. That probably won't be until Christmas in the US.
After leaving Mae Sai and the Burmese border we took a leisurely drive back towards Chang Rai. This route took us to through the Golden Triangle once noted for its opium and heroine production. However, the Thai government has successfully eradicated the production of opium by getting the hill tribes to grow alternative crops which still managed to provide a reasonable income. An impressive part of the drive was a journey along the Mekong River with Laos on the opposing riverbank. Even here far from the sea the river is very broad and quite majestic.
We had seen a resort on the way about 1 hour south of Chiang Rai and decided to get a head start on our way home by staying there that night. Al was at the wheel and the driver was trying again to read the map (not a strong point for Thais) but finally we arrived at the resort. It was very nice but all we really needed was a clean and comfortable bed. We took a dip in the pool despite the chilly air before heading to the resort's one restaurant. Very tired we decided to be lazy and order the buffet. Big mistake. There was a very small selection and it was cold. Since the buffet was only US3.50 (and we were crazy foreigners anyway) we ordered chef salads that had an interesting and quirky Asian interpretation --sliced hot dogs (!) I wanted a chocolaty gooey dessert but they brought the bill when we asked for the menu again. So we gave up.
The driver was unable to find a room for the night so he had slept in the car. So Al drove and let him sleep in the back. Before nodding off he said 'don't you want to take the pretty way?' Of course. Always. It turned out to be a four hour trip over rudimentary roads through breathtaking scenery. The driver woke up and turned on his CB and began crunching chips noisily behind us.
Back at Chiang Mai I wanted some more salty French fries at McDonalds. There was great people watching at McDonalds in Chiang Mai. We decided the two beautiful scantily clad girls were speaking Hebrew and Al decided then and there that one day he would like to visit Israel.
We hit a few more shops on factory row, more Celedon and antiques. And then went to an umbrella and fan making village. It was very touristy and we were very tired. Although the last pottery shop we went to had lots of large, unusual & beautiful pieces. And I manage to buy four yards of hand loomed lime green cotton with a pastel diamond pattern in it. The driver had called and made a tentative reservation at yet another teak house hotel for us. We were heading towards it when he said, 'Why waste your money? Let's drive home tonight.' That would give us Friday free before starting the car rally early Saturday morning. This gave us a perfect excuse to visit Auchan (they have Carrefour's in Bangkok but we haven't seen this particular French supermarche by us) to stock up on car food.
The first part of the drive was pretty slow and awful. The road was only two lanes and under construction most of the way. And full of very big truck trailers which had to be passed. Al said the only time he had been as terrified was on the incredibly fast night sailboat race crossing he made of the English Channel where the rail was buried under water most of the time. But eventually the road turned into a divided highway and we got home four hours earlier than expected.
Our maid managed to wash all of our laundry. We packed again to leave early the next morning on a car rally organized by Allan's personnel department. One might question the sanity of participating in a car rally beginning in Bangkok -- with the terrible reputation traffic has here and all. Well the driving was not the insane part. The rally was organized into several timed legs where we had to search for spray painted letters on trees or fence posts at certain mile markers. That we could do. But on the legs with questions in Thai we were hopeless --even though we had the driver and Al's secretary along. The secretary has a very excitable personality and well, the driver had to drive. 200 participants in 50 cars stopped for lunch at one Esso gas station. I can only describe the food as 'trough' quality. The rally ended in a golf resort (here I use the word loosely) in Kanchaniburi. I took a nap by the pool while Al played 9 holes of golf with his secretary. The awards dinner went on interminably. We found out we placed 37th due mostly to our inability to answer riddles in Thai. Go figure. That night we had our own little cabin with the hardest bed either of us has ever experienced (and remember we've travelled in Germany).
The next morning we had an early tee time. Al bought more golf balls-good ones for him, old used ones for me. So for the entire morning we enjoyed the decadent luxury of riding around in a golf cart with our two caddies. We took the cooler from the car so if it was a hole without a snack bar we still could have a cold drink if we wanted. I played most of the holes. Trying to hit the ball off of uneven grass is very different than swinging at it on Astroturf over concrete with the highest rubber (learning) tee imaginable -- like I do at the driving range. I had a couple of good shots but still have a ways to good. Sand and water don't really intimidate me but when I stare at a 300 yard fairway I get very very nervous.
Once again life with Allan proves to be 'not boring'. He's off to the Philippines and I am going to try and take it easy for awhile.

Phuket (10-14 September 98)



(Unwittingly we took a beach holiday during the monsoon season)
Thursday
I practiced golf in the morning at the nearby driving range. This has really become fun since I am finally keeping my right shoulder down through my swing. Sure makes a difference - now I am getting good contact with the ball. It makes either a nice thwack or pock sound.
After researching our resort hotel on the internet -- it appears that it is not a hotel but a condominium. Guess I should take some food and tea making stuff.
My friend – also named Nancy -- called before I left. I would have rather gabbed than pack (I used an old 'for the beach' packing list). At the last minute decided to take my golf clubs.
I had the maid carry the bag downstairs where I added the guide books to the ‘to be packed’ pile. She and the chauffeur argued over who was going to carry my bag to the car. Like two little kids they each held a handle and said 'no! let me'. I said, 'You're NOT arguing over who is going to carry my bag.' Let the chauffeur do it.'
The airport logistics were rather complicated. Al was coming in from the Phillipines. I met Al's flight and then we proceeded to our check in VERY EARLY. Thai Airways took our bag and two golf bags (on free frequent flyer tickets!) no problem. We waited in an airport restaurant where we ordered spicy seafood salad.
On the flight I couldn't stop worrying about some consulting I was to do in a few weeks in Hong Kong and Singapore. I didn't have the training material yet and I still needed it to prepare for the trip.
A pretty sorry taxi at the Phuket airport met us. The roads aren't that good. The rough road was accentuated by the non-existent shock absorbers in the cab. It is a rather long drive from the airport in the North to Karon beach where we were staying on the West coast of the island.
Over-friendly help at the condo checked us into a 10th floor sea view condo. I asked for a non-smoking room. I just got a blank smile and a, 'What's that'? We didn't notice at first that we had twin beds. We were not very happy about that but also not willing to go through the rigmarole of changing rooms. So we just pushed to bed together.
It was fairly late but we decided to explore the immediate area on foot. Desperately aggressive shopkeepers tried to get us to buy from them. We declined. The girls in all the bars we passed all yelled 'Hello & Welcome' at us but we just walked by them.
Friday morning
We were served breakfast by a pretty little transvestite. I really liked his/her white rayon top from India. He/she had a really nice manicure with a deep burgundy polish. And I am pretty sure it was wearing hair extensions. There were very few customers in the restaurant and all the waiters hovered around us. Al finished before me despite having the full cooked breakfast(read fry-up). I had the European breakfast (roll & coffee). I was so astounded I was unable to speak as they took my plate away before I was done.
Before we could walk very far at all a man offered to rent us a jeep. So we plunked down 2400 baht (US$60) for four days for a little red 4WD Suzuki with airco. If we liked we could exchange it for a big American jeep the next day.
We took off in the jeep to explore the South side of the island. Al found 'Jimmy’s lighthouse' evidently a rather famous place in sailing circles. They served the best limeade I have ever had.
Next we went to the popular tourist beach area called Patong. We don't like these noisy, stinky bar ridden places but we are not opposed to visiting them for a short time. This is the place to buy fake designer watches. At lunch I proposed we circle the islands many excellent restaurants ordering spicy seafood salad at each one for comparison purposes.
In the afternoon we checked out the Phuket Country club golf course. Al made reservations for the next morning and then we both went to the driving range. It was more expensive than the most expensive driving range that we go to in Bangkok and not as nice. Only the practice putting greens were much nicer than the one we use. Al could not resist adjusting my driver swing.
I can't remember the name of the restaurant that night but we ate outside in a kind of primitive Flintstones garden. A very pregnant calico cat took me for the cat lover I am and practically tried to jump on our table to eat the BBQ tiger prawns (500 grams for 500 baht about US$15). After I had shelled a few of the shrimp I asked the waiter to give the leftover heads and shells to the cat away from our table. That worked. She didn't come back to bother us until she had finished our leftovers. Just as we were done it started to sprinkle rain.
So we got back into the jeep and headed back into Patong. Parking was not easy and as soon as we were about 6-10 blocks from the car the rain came down in great pelting sheets. We took shelter under the awning of a seafood restaurant kitchen along with some other soggy tourists.
Saturday
Al had an early tee-time and I just sat around on the balcony enjoying the sea breeze, ocean noise and view while reading. In the late morning I ventured out and bought some flip-flops. It was really hard to find some that were NOT fake designer. Now I was prepared for a walk on the beautiful beach. After my walk I lounged by the pool until Al returned. The beach was so wonderful we went back there for some serious wading where a very huge wave stole Al's glasses, safety strap and all.
Then it was back to the Light House for a sundowner. The drive around the Southwest of the island was indescribably beautiful. Both the beaches (Club Med is there) and the inland scenery are spectacular.
Dinner was at a very large restaurant at a crossroads. We had to walk and walk down many wooden covered corridors to get to the dining room. The food was not as spicy as we would have liked. I guess they tone it down for the tourists. There were very few customers in the restaurant and all the waiters stood around watching us eat.
Sunday
The day started with brunch at one of the five hotels in an integrated resort near the airport. First we got the bottom of our shorts wet with some rogue waves while wading on the beach there and then the monsoon caught us before we could get back to the jeep. We spent most of the day venturing onto the mainland. We took a wrong turn but that only led us to a really cool waterfall. We also checked out the possibility of chartering boats from Sunsail.
We found the best restaurant that night. Andaman Seafood had the best BBQ seafood and the spiciest spicy seafood salad. When it started to monsoon we just moved a few tables deeper into the restaurant. There were a few other customers so we did not have the sole attention of all the staff. What a relief AND the food was good, and Thai and hot enough. No compromises for tourists.
Monday
This was our last day so we walked on the beach in the morning despite the ominous black clouds to the North. They did not hold idle promise. It really, really rained on us but we were in our swimsuits so it didn't matter. There was no sign of Allan's glasses by the wrecked Russian fishing boat on the beach where he had lost them. We studied the sand crabs (Al stomped behind them to make them jump-he even managed to catch a few tiny ones).
Back in Patong I bought myself a Topaz ring for a souvenir. Remember all those desperately aggressive shopkeepers? The girl tried not to take the jewelry back after I had tried it on. Her technique worked. Lunch was French fries and hamburgers at the miniature golf course. It was raining too hard for us to play. But that did not stop two Japanese girls from playing.
As we checked out of the condo we asked about purchasing one of the units. It was four times as much as we were willing to pay. This started us dreaming about retiring to this surprisingly clean and modern island anyway. But unfortunately it’s a too expensive island.

Dining in Paradise

Today is the Queens birthday in Thailand which is synonymous with Mother’s day. The only difference being that in Thailand it is a National holiday. This provides a well needed rest and a chance to prepare another correspondence to our friends in the rest of the world.

One of the treasures of being in the far east and especially in Thailand is the opportunity to experience many new sensations; two of the foremost being the senses of smell and taste. Whether enjoying a night out at a Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, or of course Thai restaurant, we continue to be confronted with aromas, sights, and tastes which are new. Surprisingly, one of my favorites is the company cafeteria.

Working in many different locations, I have had the chance to experience many a company canteen. However, most of these left one with a yearning to go elsewhere to eat at every opportunity. This is not the case at Philips Semiconductors in Bangkok. I don’t know if this is typical for Thai companies.

Philips in Bangkok employs just under 4000 persons which work in three shifts. The factory is operational 24 hours a day 6 ½ days a week. To accommodate this mass, Philips has a large company canteen which is also open 24 hours a day. I try to limit my visits to once a day between noon and one o’clock.

The canteen has basically the form of a street market. There are two rows of stalls, one inside and one outside. Each of the stall is, I think, independently operated under some controls from Philips. In addition to the stalls there is also a very small grocery and video store. The grocery reminds me somewhat of the old corner grocer I remember vaguely from my childhood only smaller.

One may eat either inside or out, each having its own pros and cons; outside is the heat, although there is an awning over the eating area. This provides a quiet and somewhat peaceful environment. While, on the other hand, the inside cafeteria is cooler being air-conditioned. However inside, you are surrounded by four blaring television sets. Fortunately, all of the TV’s are on the same Thai channel.

The process of getting your food is typical in Thailand. You first go to the coupon counter where you exchange ‘real’ money for food coupons. Usually I will change around 100 Baht ($2.50), which will last me a little more that two days. Then you go shopping!

I usually start at the fried noodle stand where I order ‘ma mie’ (15baht), which is a drier form of the curly noodle soup with which you might be familiar. You may choose to have some dumplings, squid, shrimp or other morsel added for flavor. While this is being prepared, I either go outside to grab some barbecued pork (20baht) or choose some sort of vegetable curry from a sort of deli counter (5 baht). If I have chosen a vegetable I will also get a plate of rice (free) to go along. After finding a space at a table, which is sometime difficult, I set down my plates and continue shopping. I may grab a soft drink (7 baht), milk (20 baht) or coconut milk. Then it’s back to pick up my ‘ma mie’ and utensils. I will usually add some spice to the noodles such as crushed red pepper (hot), and peppers in vinegar (sour). Almost all Thai meals are accompanied with four additional tastes, sugar (sweet), crushed peppers (hot), vinegar (sour) and fish sauce (salty). There are also two types of utensils to choose from, either chop sticks or a fork and spoon. I usually opt for the chop sticks, while most Thai use a spoon and fork. The fork is used to scoop food onto the spoon which is always held in the right hand. The choice of hand is important as traditionally the left had is used to perform certain less sanitary functions.

After we have finished I usually have either a scoop of ice cream (6 baht) or half of a freshly peeled pineapple (5 baht). These are consumed during the short walk back to the office. This almost always totals around 40-60 baht or $1.25. However, there are numerous variations possible with literally more than a hundred dishes to choose from. Also recommended are: pad Thai noodles (15baht), fried rice (13 baht), bean sprouts with fried soy bean curd(6 baht),. Vegetarian noodles(13 baht), fried bananas(1 baht ea.), papaya, spicy noodle salad, BBQ chicken (15 baht), BBQ fish(15 baht), spicy green beans(6 baht), fried egg, fish ball soup, chopped fried chicken over rice(15 baht), duck over rice, various Thai sweets and much, much more. In fact there isn’t a week that goes by without me observing something new on one of my colleague’s plates.

-Allan

Link to photos

Maids, Chauffeurs & The Big Move

03 April 1998

I guess it is again time for one of my rambling tales of living in the Far East. It has been a hectic past two weeks. Not only were there many important work related activities, but I also moved into our planned living quarters for the next two years, received the container with the contents from our home in Holland, and changed car & drivers.

The House

During the first two months of our two year planned stay in Thailand, I lodged in a serviced one bedroom apartment located on Sukomvit Road. Sukomvit is in the center of Bangkok, if one can say that Bangkok has a center. This bustling area was exciting to live in, although not all that pleasant due to the pollution, crowds of tourists, and additional heat generated by the mass of cars, air conditioners, and overall congestion.

These reasons contributed to our decision to take a home further from the center, as well as my desire to come home to a more serene environment after my hectic work day. The home, which we chose to rent, is located in a small suburb of Muang Ake, located northwest of Bangkok near Rangsit University. It is now around a 45-minute commute, given current traffic conditions. This is a little longer than the 30-minute commute from my previous location on Sukomvit Road. Curiously enough, the previous occupant of the house was my predecessor at work, Tim Cremer. So I have had the pleasure in relating the story of how I not only arrived in Bangkok to take over Tim’s job, but also managed in the process to also gain his home, car, driver, maid, and mobile phone.

The house is located in a pleasant and relaxing setting. While it is true that the street we live on is still cluttered with litter and other refuse - found almost everywhere in the Bangkok area - the view from the back of the house is very pleasant. We have a small backyard that has a 4-meter (12-foot) wide canal running its length. Beyond the canal is one of two local golf courses. The course behind the home, Muang Ake Vista, is unique, as it has full lighting, allowing play until around 10pm. This provides an ever-entertaining panorama with golfers and their caddy’s strolling by in the evening. Mornings are also pleasant as songbirds now awaken us, from outside our bedroom window. Opening the curtains reveals the green fairways with water sprinklers dousing the course. Also, I am convinced that the temperature in this setting is at least 5 degrees cooler than in the center of Bangkok. This may be overstated although I still believe it to be true.

The Big Move

I arrived at the house on the morning of Tuesday March 31^st. I had been there previously for the house inspection with the Thai owners. Assisting me in the ‘unloading’ were my previous driver, Jack, my current driver Su (Pronounced Sue) and our maid Pah. We had borrowed one of the company vans in the morning, which was needed to move my belongings from the apartment in Bangkok. I had expected the container to arrive around 10am. However, at ten past 10 I received a disturbing call from the moving company’s representative stating that there had been an accident involving the container truck, and as such, there would be a delay of several hours. Impatient as I am and having no place to sit, I decided to go with Jack to the closest supermarket and stock up on essentials for the kitchen.

Jack and I arrived back at the house around 12:30pm and the 40 foot container arrived shortly thereafter. The crew foreman presented me with the bill of lading, which I was to inspect and check off during unloading. I then proceeded to look inside the steel container, as I wanted to inspect it’s capacity. Aside from curiosity, my primary intention was to envisage how much room we would have for acquisitions for the return trip. I was greeted by the disturbing scene of seeing all of one’s possessions reduced to an abstract art form composed of a mixture of white cardboard encased furniture surrounded by white and brown boxes. The 220 plus items were each numbered and further marked with some vague description of either the contents or the source, such as; ‘kitchen’, ‘bathroom’, ‘bedroom’, etc. Adding to the confusion was the fact that the labeling was in a hybrid text of Dutch-lish.

Accompanying the container was a team of around 15 young Thais wearing their moving company’s T-shirts. One part of the team removed their shoes and entered the house while the remaining group proceeded to the empty the container. Each numbered item was brought first to the door where the foreman and my self would check the box number. This was followed by indicating to which room each box should go. We designated one room as ‘storage’. The intention of which was to send the boxes that I did not want to have unpacked. Being outnumbered 15-to-1, I did my best in deciphering the script on each item and directing it to a general location. This process lasted around an hour and a half. There was included (of course!) a 20 minute break for a late lunch. At this juncture, all of the cardboard enclosed items were somewhere inside the house. We were now ready to proceed with a chaotic phase II of the operation. Now all 15 of the barefooted Thais were inside unpacking boxes, identifying furniture parts and attempting assemblage. This all occurring in about 10 different locations spread around the two-story home. I hurried from one location to another to instruct and assist in the process. After several hours the operation was complete, or at least as complete as it was going to be for a few weeks.

All in all, it went quite well with only a few miscues. For one, I managed somehow to have instructed that our heaviest piece of furniture, the dining room sideboard, was sent upstairs, thinking that it was part of a bedroom suite. I didn’t have the heart to have it brought back downstairs, and in any event it also was well suited as a linen cabinet in the upstairs foyer. Breakage was limited to a few glasses and the CD player portion of the stereo that didn’t seem to want to work anymore.* More disturbing was the leftover quantity of screws and other hardware. I hope all the furniture stays together.

(*Footnote: several weeks later I disassembled the CD player together with one of the visiting plant engineers, one Jochim Schober from Graz, Austria, and the player has worked ever since!).

Car & Driver(s)

Many expatriates in Bangkok are provided with a car and driver. This is largely due not to prestige but to the practicality of negotiating the Bangkok traffic and Thai style of driving. Initially, around a week after my arrival, I was provided with a Toyota Corolla 4-door sedan and a driver named Jakkowan. Jakkowan was immediately shortened to "Jack", nicknaming is the normal procedure in Thai culture. Nicknames or abbreviated names are given to virtually all Thais, as their full names can be long and difficult to pronounce. The use of nicknames is not just for use by the farang (foreigner), but is along used between Thais.

The primary job of the driver is to pick you up in the morning, take you home at night and provide transportation for your wife during the day. However, he is also always available to provide for other services. It is common practice to have drivers run errands for their ‘boss’ during the day. This may include anything from grocery shopping and having clothes repaired to paying bills and making other household arrangements. In this sense the driver provides the much greater role of mediator when dealing with many local Thai affairs. It is therefore important that you have someone that you can both trust and rely upon.

One example of the driver’s behavior was when I needed to have some photos from the Netherlands framed. I dropped them off at Robinson’s department store with instructions for matting and framing. Jack assisted me in my communications to the sales clerk. Jack then returned a week or so later to pick up the pictures. When delivering the pictures to me at the office, he insisted that I would not be pleased with the result. While the matting was not perfect, I would have found it acceptable. However, at urging of Jack, I was convinced that the work could be improved. So, Jack packed up the pictures and returned to the store to register my dissatisfaction. When he returned again a few days later to deliver the modified framed photos, all was indeed improved to my complete satisfaction. By using my driver to the fullest I was able to increase my state of contentment while having to expend very little personal effort.

For this extra service, it is the boss’s responsibility to look after and provide for the driver. The norm for a driver’s salary is in the area of 6000 baht per month or around 150 US dollars. This income is supplemented with a weekly tip (if earned) of a few dollars.

At around the same time as moving into the house, I was also able to take over Tim’s car and driver. It was not that I was dissatisfied with Jack, however there were other considerations that led me to the decision to change drivers. Fortunately, I was able to place Jack with a colleague of mine such that he would not have to be terminated and forced to seek new employment in the currently meager Thai economy.

My new (other) car was a Honda accord, which provided a little more interior room. Surasak, my new driver, had worked for Tim for the past four years. Surasak has the reputation of being a very good and reliable driver. The overriding factors in deciding to change drivers was Su’s familiarity with the environs around the new home, his strong recommendation of loyalty and trustworthiness from Tim, and his good relationship with the maid. Su speaks very good English (unusual for a Thai driver), as well as a smattering of Dutch, which I expect he also understands reasonable well.

Our maid or domestic is Soapah, whom we call "Pah". Pah is a full-time live-in maid. She is provided with her own quarters and a separate entrance to the house. She is in her early forties, which is older than many of the other domestics employed by expatriates. Unlike Su, Pah speaks and understands very little English. Despite this communications hurdle we manage quite well with non-verbal communications. Also this is an area where Su is able to make a significant contribution.

Soapah is responsible for cleaning the house, doing laundry, tidying the yard and looking after the dog (which also came with the house). She is very quiet and it seems that she appears only when we are in need of her. Most maids in Thailand also do all the cooking for the house. In the case of Soapah, we have been led to believe that her cooking skills or of a lower quality. This does not present a difficulty for us as we usually enjoy preparing our meals. I am sure however, that we will verify her qualities as a cook as we get to know her better.

The situation of having a full-time driver and maid is one with which we were initially uncomfortable. The idea of having servants is completely foreign to our upbringing and is not common in the cultures we have experienced up until now. However, we are making adjustments and now feel comfortable. The real challenge may come when it is time to leave Thailand and the extra benefits of living in this part of Asia. - Allan